<mirror>:It is is the one who has the ability to transform into a rubber biscuit.

<me>is this biscuit buttermilk?

<mirror>it does not matter. it is made of rubber.

<me> if it was a rubber buttermilk biscuit, it would really narrow the possibilities down. i know person who can turn themselves into a rubber buttermilk biscuit.

<mirror> you lie. i see through your disguise. you are only a mitchell walker the III impersonator. i will never reveal who is the overlord of all that which is phat.

<me>well can you at least tell me who is the purveyor of all that which is fat?

<mirror>yes, but first you must listen to my sad tale. Thousands of years ago before Whitney Houston discovered crack cocaine and in time when midgets were made of ear wax and flew in giant flying porkchops named Mervis.

<me> were they all named Mervis?

<mirror> no they were all collectively known as Mervis. They were individually known as Susan...........................




that was when I learned that all the power of the universe resides in cans of potted meat.